A VISION & A DREAM...


You may not believe me, I find it hard to believe sometimes. However, towards the end of my graduate program, while I resided in the Bay Area, around December of 2012, I was very confused. I had been chasing spiritual answers, Truth, and had not concluded anything, not even with my studies. Through a series of unprecedented events and people, I was guided back to the Catholic Church. One morning I found myself reading the Catechism of the Catholic Church. It must have been around 7am when I woke up, I read for about 10 minutes and went back to sleep because I was tired. As soon as I closed my eyes, I heard birds chirping inside my ear. The sound was loud, as if it had speakers, and I knew that something different was happening and that I should be attentive. Next I heard static, lots of it, and then I heard a very clear voice that said, "Soy el angel de la guarda con el que hablas, abrazate muy fuerte antes de ensenarte tu llamado". I remember that in my sleeping state I felt afraid yet in awe. I remained still, then I saw an image of myself in a cloud wearing a pink habit. In my sleeping state, I was transported from this place, hit a wall, and then knelt down. In front of me I saw a red and blue sky, birds flying across, heard static, birds chirping and then I awoke. 

I was terrified. At first I took the dream literal and went to visit the Holy Spirit Adoration Sister, the Pink Sisters, in St. Louis, Missouri. I was rejected 3 times in the span of 3 years. I began to think that my imagination had played a game on me since later I discovered that I suffered with major depression and generalized anxieties. But 1 year after the angel dream, I heard the voice of my soul right before I awoke, and I received another message, ironically in Spanish again. Although I won't share that yet, I've needed a place where I can jot down my thoughts, some my own, and others inspired- I don't always know the difference. And well here is this space. It is February 2021 and we are in the middle of a pandemic. I've quit yet another job because my inner life and sensibilities do not let me move forward in my career in Social Services. For better or worse, this is where I am, and I am beginning to think that this is my so longed for vocation. To suffer emotionally for others, for the salvation of their souls in the midst of my family, my neighborhood, my city.